


The Heart of an Assassin

by ArbitrarySpaces (orphan_account)



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Assassins & Hitmen, Grinding, M/M, References to underaged murdering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 10:23:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10695063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ArbitrarySpaces
Summary: It was the kind of relationship that should have meant nothing because Allen wasn't supposed to get attached to anyone. Especially not his enemy.





	The Heart of an Assassin

**Author's Note:**

> I'll just leave this here...

“Yes, Lavi.” Allen rolled his eyes again as he continued walking down the hall. He couldn’t wait to get inside his apartment and just fall asleep. Even just having the soft carpet of his apartment building under his feet, even through his shoes, was a nice contrast to spending hours with his knees digging into the concrete while he bent over a sniper rifle.

“Just don’t die, okay?” It sounded like Lavi had something in between his teeth.

“Are you eating something?”

“Paperclip.”

Allen stopped outside his door. “Okay, I won’t die. I’m hanging up on you now.” He didn’t give Lavi a chance to respond, partially because he didn’t want to talk to him more about his new job. He was supposed to kill someone he knew well. A little too well.

He put his phone away and pulled out his keys. Just as he was about to unlock the door, he saw the doorknob move. Whoever was in there- and he had a pretty good idea of who it was- had already heard him breathing, talking, and taking out his keys, so he was trapped where he was.

He checked both sides of the hallway to make sure none of his neighbors were out. They weren’t, which made sense since it was close to midnight. He looked back at the door and flicked his wrist, sending the knife from his sleeve out. He gripped the hilt of it.

His heart didn’t usually race during these kinds of moments. It usually started racing right as he killed someone. When he pulled the trigger. When his knife broke through the ribcage and dug into heart muscle and he saw the light drain out of someone’s eyes as blood dripped onto his hand.

His heart didn’t race in those moments because he was happy. It raced because he was so scared of himself and so disgusted by what he was capable of.

It was always Link that reminded him they were trying to save people. They were the good guys who only killed people that were dangerous and the Noah were the bad guys that killed anyone for money. Kanda always said it didn’t matter in the end; they were all killers.

This time, his heart was racing because he had to kill someone he cared about. He wasn’t supposed to get attached to people he knew he couldn’t keep around. He wasn’t supposed to get attached to anyone, but some attachments were easier to deal with than others. He tightened his grip on the knife, fingernails digging into the bottom of his palm.

He had to open the door or he would be killed. Maybe he would be killed anyway, but he was going to try because Mana wouldn’t have wanted him to just give up.

Normally, his reflexes were fast enough even without trying too hard, but this wasn’t a normal job. He knew that the second he opened the door he wouldn’t have much time to protect himself.

He slid his key into the lock and twisted it. He made sure to pull his key out and pocket it so he would have his hand free if he needed it. He gripped the doorknob and he felt it move again. He twisted it and pushed the door open. It was still dark inside and even with the light from the hallway he couldn’t see anyone.

He pressed his foot against the door and pushed it closed. As soon as he heard it click shut, he put his knife up and to the left. It was caught on fabric and there was a cold blade pressed against his neck before he could do anything else. The knuckles pressing against his collarbone smelled like lemon soap; so he was right.

“Tyki.”

“You know, while you were out killing someone today, I was watching you,” he whispered.

“So, you’re an assassin and a stalker?” Good. He still sounded calm.

“It’s part of my job to track the person I’m supposed to kill.” Allen figured that was why Tyki was holding a knife to his skin. This wasn’t how they usually greeted each other.

“Are you going to?”

“The way I see it, we have three options. We can fuck, I slip you a sedative, cut your carotid artery, and you die a painless death. I could drop this knife and let you stab me in the heart. Or, we both drop our weapons and call a truce. Personally, I’m not a fan of most of the first one.”

“I don’t like the second one.”

Two knives clattered to the ground and Allen felt like he could breathe again. At least, until there was a knock on the door and he stopped breathing. He slowly turned around, careful not to make a sound and check through the peephole. Link was standing there, eyes shifting from side to side but otherwise he was completely still.

Allen could only hope that Tyki was hiding somewhere because Link had the hearing of an assassin even though he wasn’t one. He opened the door just enough to poke his head outside and smile. “Link, what can I do for you?”

Link’s eyes focused on Allen. “I have matters to discuss with you.” Allen had a feeling this wasn’t something he could have just texted or called about because then other people would have known, particularly the people they worked for.

Allen opened the door wider as he flipped on the light. “Sure. Come on in.” He stepped to the side and allowed Link to enter. Once he was inside, Link looked at the ground.

“Is there a reason there’s a knife on your floor?”

Allen closed the door and turned to face Link. “I was about to take off my shirt and it slipped out.”

Link looked up from the floor and at Allen. “Walker, I was given orders to dispose of your body at five am.”

Allen frowned. “I’m not dead.” He left out the yet.

“I know. However, it is anticipated that you will be by morning and that Mikk will be as well.” He pulled out a piece of paper from his front pocket and unfolded it, holding it in front of Allen. “Do you remember this?”

It was his contract with the Black Order. He had signed it after Mana had died and Allen ended up being his replacement. That was what happened if an assassin died. They took their next of kin because they couldn’t afford to loose the numbers they had. Technically, the contract was illegal, so it wasn’t legally binding, but Allen had heard the stories of the deserters and he preferred not to end up like that.

“Yes.”

Link ripped it in half. “I should have done this ten years ago when you were fourteen. You don’t have a family, so I’ll report you as dead and you can be free.”

“But Lavi and Lenalee and-”

“Walker, I order you to leave and not come back.” Link pocketed the contract. Allen didn’t like it when he did that. Like he got the final word just because it was his job to tell Allen what to do. But he also found it comforting because Link had been doing it for so long. “Is there anything you would like me to tell them, so they know you’re alive?”

Allen smiled. “Tell them that I’m going to the same place as Alma Karma.” He had promised Lavi he wouldn’t die and even though it risked revealing that Alma was still alive, he needed to be as explicit as possible.

It was only when Link looked like he was a mix of pissed off, surprised, and hopeful that Allen realized Link hadn’t known Alma was alive.

“Right, you’re a watchdog, you don’t know these things. Well,” Allen laughed sheepishly, “whoops.”

Link shook his head. “I suppose this wouldn’t be a proper goodbye without you doing something uncharacteristic of an assassin.” He turned to leave and Allen suddenly felt almost empty.

“Hey, Link, thanks for sort of raising me and making sure I stayed alive.” It was nice to be free, but it made his stomach churn thinking about life without his family. Maybe one day they would all be free together.

“Anytime, Walker. Just make sure it wasn’t all for naught. Be gone by five.” It almost sounded like he was smiling, but then again, maybe Allen was imagining things.

After Link left, Allen made sure to lock the door. He stood there for a few moments with his hand still on the doorknob as he tried to figure out where he would go. He had no idea where Alma actually was; he was speaking more metaphorically before.

“So, where are we going?”

Allen spun around and looked at Tyki. “We?”

“Yes.”

“Why would you come with me? I can’t be that irreplaceable to you.” It hurt to say, but it was true. For four years their entire relationship was about sex. They were all constantly on the verge of dying, so why not just enjoy life while it lasted? Allen was in love, but if he ever said it out loud, it would mean he was attached and even though he was free, he still couldn’t. He couldn’t bring other people into his mess of a life, even if their life was just as messy.

Tyki leaned his hip against Allen’s counter, which was odd. In all that time, Tyki had never been in his kitchen for longer than five seconds when they were running to Allen’s bed. If they even made it that far. “You think I could replace you?”

“Of course you can.” Allen had been Mana’s replacement for Nea, the Order’s replacement for Mana, and he was sure he was just Tyki’s replacement for being alone. A replacement was easy to replace.

“How?”

“What? Can’t find someone else to fuck into a door?”

Tyki scowled at him. “No. How could you possibly think that?”

Allen glared. “Because this,” he gestured to himself and then to Tyki, “isn’t supposed to mean anything.”

Tyki’s scowl dissolved as he blinked. “It isn’t?”

Allen wasn’t sure what was happening, so he just stared. Though, he wasn’t glaring anymore, so that was progress. Tyki walked towards him. He pressed his body against Allen’s until Allen’s back was touching the door. Tyki ran his thumb along Allen’s lower lip and Allen looked up at him, heart stuttering for a moment.

“You think that I would spend two hours, leaning against you just like this because you kept insisting that in five minutes you would be awake enough to hold yourself up and get to your bed, but for now you appreciated my help, if this didn’t mean anything?”

It had happened more than once. It had happened a lot actually. A few times, they had both been too tired to even stand and ended up sliding down the door and sitting against it.

Tyki dropped his hand. “And do you really think it’s possible to spend four years being around you and not feel anything?”

Allen swallowed. Tyki just looked so sincere. As if that statement was absolutely true to him no matter what.

He smirked. “Even when I first met you on that roof in Spain I knew you’d be hard to get over.” He leaned closer and Allen tilted his head up more as he closed his eyes and stood on his tiptoes to meet Tyki for a kiss. He opened his eyes when Tyki pulled away just enough to whisper, “Even though I never said it, I thought it was obvious enough that I love you.”

Allen fisted one hand in Tyki’s hair and used the other to pull him back down by his tie. It was only then he realized that people who didn’t care about each other didn’t kiss like this. They didn’t kiss so slowly and gently. If Tyki didn’t care about him, he probably wouldn’t have been cupping Allen’s cheek with one hand and stroking his hair with the other.

Tyki pulled away and pressed their foreheads together. “Open your eyes.”

Allen did even though he kind of didn’t want to.

“Where are we going?”

He didn’t want to answer that, so he just tugged on Tyki’s tie and let out a small whine because it never failed to get Tyki to keep doing what he had been doing. Tyki dropped his hand from Allen’s face and used it to pull down the collar of Allen’s shirt.

Allen smirked when Tyki gripped his hair and tilted his head back towards the door while leaning down. He dragged his teeth across Allen’s collarbone. “How about New Zealand?” he whispered against Allen’s skin.

“New Zealand?” Tyki tilted his head up to Allen, waiting for Allen to answer before continuing. “Well, I’ve never been there, so I don’t see why not.”

Tyki tilted his head back down and started peppering kisses up to Allen’s neck.

“We should stop. We don’t have any extra clothes to wear.” Tyki kissed him again.

“Don’t worry. I’ll handle it.” He kissed Allen again. He gently bit Allen’s lower lip as he started grinding against him. Allen was already hard, but at least Tyki was too, and it felt so good. Allen moaned into the kiss and Tyki nipped at his lip again, grinding harder.

This was probably a terrible idea. Allen had to gather the money he had been hiding in his apartment, which was most of it because having that much money would look suspicious and now his bank account would be cleared out by the order. They would have more than enough, though. They also had to figure out how they were getting to New Zealand and if anything happened to their clothes, they would be wearing them until they got to an airport in New Zealand.

But with Tyki kissing him like that and giving him almost what he wanted, Allen was hard pressed to do much besides pull on Tyki’s tie to bring him closer and grind against him because he needed more. It was just getting good when Tyki stopped and stepped away from Allen, their hands slipping away from each other.

Allen was panting and he sort of hated that Tyki wasn’t. Or maybe he was just better at hiding it.

“You’re right. Stopping is good.” Tyki cleared his throat. “I assume you have money hidden somewhere.”

Allen closed his eyes for a few moments. “Yeah. There’s a small bag we can use to carry it all, but we need an excuse so it doesn’t look so suspicious.” He took a deep breath, trying to focus on what was important for the time being.

“You have terminal cancer and we cashed in all of our savings and sold all of our belongings so we could have one last trip together before you leave me all alone.”

Allen opened his eyes just so he could roll them at Tyki. “You don’t have to be so dramatic.”

Tyki smirked.

“But, that works.” He walked into the kitchen and opened the cabinet under the sink. He bent down and gathered up all his cleaning supplies and then dropped them on the counter with a loud clatter. “Come on, Tyki. You have to help me.”

He started turning them over, revealing the wads of hundred dollar bills taped to the backs of them. “Where’s the rest?”

“Box of condoms in the closet.” Because no one would ever look there.

“And the bag?”

“Same place.” As he started taking the money off, he heard Tyki walk away, and he knew the noise was on purpose because Tyki could walk without being heard.

Once all of his money was sitting on the counter, he put all of the cleaning supplies back exactly where they were. Link would check to make sure that nothing looked suspicious, but with all he had done, Allen didn’t want to give him more work than he had to.

He heard the zipper of the bag click against the counter top. “Is this everything, boy?” Oh good, the nickname was back. It had been all of two days since Allen had heard it.

He closed the cabinet and straightened up. “Yeah.” He heard the money sliding against the fabric of the bag. He didn’t turn around though until he heard the zipper.

Tyki let go of the bag, leaving it on the counter, and looked at Allen.

“Did you put everything back where it was?” Allen asked.

“Yes.”

“Okay. Our only problem now is that I don’t have a passport the Order didn’t give me.” Well, it wasn’t their only problem, but it was their only extremely pressing problem.

Tyki reached into his coat pocket and pulled out an envelope. “I’m not stupid. Unlike somebody.” He tossed the envelope to Allen.

Allen ripped it open and found two passports inside. One for him and one for Tyki. He placed his own in his back pocket, fingers touching his phone, which he pulled out. He tossed Tyki’s passport back to him while looking at his phone for what was probably the last time.

Link would need it to give back to the Order. His heart ached at the thought that he couldn’t text everyone goodbye because the Order would know if he did. So he just placed it on the counter where Link would find it.

“We should go, boy.”

Allen nodded, reaching up to wipe the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. He sniffed. “Yeah. We should.” He dropped his hand, putting as much effort as possible into not crying, and looked at Tyki. “What’s your plan?”

Tyki shrugged. “If they can’t find me, they won’t look very hard.”

“Then let’s get out of here.” He would see them again, he was sure of it.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I wrote that...  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
